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Episode 289 – The M.V.P.

Baseball, that’s our national sport.

As the Olympics come to a close, it is only fitting we say farewell with possibly the most athletic episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week the town’s two baseball teams are competing in the league finale. One wonders: How many teams started in this tournament? Where are all those players? Was it always going to come down to these two teams? SHUT UP! Stop asking questions and enjoy the show! It’s TELEVISION, for chrissake. Anyway, also Moira is directing a play and Stevie has the jitters.

Episode 288 – The Hospies

You’re gonna have a lot bit of laughsis when you… listen to… our show. Yikes.

A lot of stuff happens on this episode. Johnny and Stevie win an award right as Stevie is getting unceremoniously dumped by a bastard. Moira settles into the role of Director of Cabaret, and David makes fun of Patrick for being a pushover. But who are we kidding, none of that matters. This is the Little Bit Alexis episode. She’s a Lamborghini, she’s a Hollywood Star, and she’s the queen of Episode 288.

Episode 287 – A Whisper of Desire

I hate it when I find a really good screenshot and can’t think of a damn thing to caption it with. Feel free to tweet your own caption ideas to @talkindawson.

So we decided to take a break from our break to break to bring you just a little bit of content during this long hot summer. This week we have a fine episode in which Johnny finds himself possibly having a sexy and mature admirer. Surely there’s no way it was all an awkward misunderstanding. Not on this show! Also, David has a baby forced upon him while having an important business meeting, and Moira decides to back-seat direct the local playhouse’s presentation of Cabaret. Is that it? Of course not, this episode is also chock full of sexy talk about weather patterns in the west Texas desert, and stories of dirt-holes and train tracks.

Episode 286 – Rock On!

Zhampagne, magic brownies, hair metal. Y’know, she’s kind of the butt of the joke this episode, but I would legit party with Jocelyn.

Three plot lines this week, each more awkward than the last. First, the jazzagals had a trip to the local casino planned to see a Poison concert, when the show falls through they decide to have a girl’s night anyway which leads to some mid-life crisis Jocelyn action. Next, David makes the horrible decision of convincing his boyfriend to date another guy, then he has to deal with his own emotional fallout of his dumb actions. Thankfully Alexis is there to make it worse. Finally Johnny sees Stevie’s big-honkin’ mommy milkers, and much cringe was had by all.

Episode 285 – Housewarming

I just picked this because everybody looks happy and that seems like it would be nice.

Well this week we have a certified top tier Schitts Creek episode for you. Housewarming combines the joy of inept childcare with the excitement of a drunken gathering in your underwear. Firstly Johnny and Moira are watching the Schitt kid, the Schitt boy? Schitt baby? You get the idea its Roland and Jocelyn’s child. Meanwhile pretty much every other named character under 45 is at Patrick’s housewarming party in their PJs. Drinks are consumed, lips touch lips, and SO’s get peeved. All in all a really great episode.

Episode 284 – The Dress

Excitement, boredom, confusion. The only three reactions we ever receive here at COTW.

This week your hosts catch up from their week off with some of the usual recommendos. Then we dive into The Dress, a fan favorite episode featuring karoake, Coture, and Confessions from Ted the Vet. Also, in the case of Stevie, possible Coitus? Watch along with us and you be the judge.

Episode 283 – The Plant

Gross, look what they’re doing with their hands.

This week your hosts briefly talk about a crime novel author you’ve probably never heard of, then dive into The Creek. The Motel has a “V-VIP” guest staying with them, and the employees concoct a scheme to impress him. Meanwhile Moira deals with Jocelyn’s breakdown, and David helps Patrick find a place to live. It’s a good one!

Episode 282 – Love Letters

In one scene Jocelyn out-fashions both Moira and David for the whole series. Bravo!

This week your hosts battle technical difficulties and a time crunch that leads them to cram their usual 45 minutes of hijinks into a half hour. Why am I speaking in third person? There’s no “them” here, it’s us, that is; me! Did I just use that semicolon correctly? I’m going to be honest, I’m a 42 year old man and that is the first time I’ve attempted to use one. What a rush! You know what else is a rush? Getting robbed at finger-point, which is what happens to David in this week’s episode. Simultaneously, Moira takes a bunch of Bosnian speed, and there’s something about love letters that we mostly talked over. You know, having reread this I don’t think I used the semicolon correctly. Welp, tried and failed, never going to make that mistake again. Just commas for me from here on out. Never put yourself out there folks, nothing but regret in it for you.

Episode 281 – The Crowening

If only Brandon Lee were still around to see his creation perfected.

A new season begins, and it begins with a bang. Moira is off filming her movie (The titular Crowening), while the rest of the fam holds down the fort. Alexis and David are having a friendly competition to see who has the spicier relationship, while Johnny is not doing well in his wife’s abscence. Your hosts barely register any of this as they can’t stop jabbering about completely unrelated topics as the show plays in the background. Welcome to Creek of the Week, what a dumb concept for a podcast.

Episode 280 – Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose

This is a picture of Eugene Levy in bed.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I realize it’s March, but we can’t control where the episodes fall so you’re getting a holiday episode. The technical finale of Season 4, this episode finds Johnny Rose desperately wishing for a holiday party, and the hijinks that ensue around the execution of said party. It’s what you would expect from a holiday episode… it’s fine. Merry St. Paddysmas.


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