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Jen (Michelle Williams) the duck talks to Dawson the Easter Island boy

If it looks like a duck, and flaps like a duck…

Dawson has a rough time this week, guys.  He discovers that his mother is cheating on his father, and his best friend knew about it and didn’t tell him!  The shame!  He also discovers that Jen has had many many ding-dongs in her hoo-hah (like, a lot).  Poor Dawson, everyone is lying to him!  On the bright side, he discovers a particularly sexy tape in his stack of dailies, and realizes that Ms. Jacobs, his English teacher, is having a sordid tryst down at the ruins.   This leads to some classic Pacey moments, which is why we watch this silly show to begin with.

Oh, and we say some funny stuff too.