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You know, whoever that thing belongs to, it’s been soaked in someone’s urine, just something to consider as you wave it around the hotel room.

Uh oh everyone, someone in Schitt’s Creek is knocked up, and for the first 7 minutes or so of this episode it appears to be Alexis. Shortly, however, we find out that she is not the raw-doggin culprit we assumed, and that honor belongs to another. Simultaneously to this action, David is looking for some alone time for his burgeoning romance, and Alexis herself is dealing with the stresses of starting college. Just another day at the Creek, folks.