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Episode 309 – 4ll Good Things Must Come To An End

It occurred to me too late that we should post a pic of ourselves for the last ep, so instead here are two slightly less attractive and less charismatic white guys.

Seven years ago we decided to abandon our music podcast idea and do something silly for our own amusement that we never thought anyone would listen to. Rewatch podcasts existed at the time, but nobody was doing random episodes (still aren’t), and why would they? It’s an utterly stupid format for a show. Thankfully, “stupid” was right in our wheelhouse, and we embraced it. Seven years later we’ve joined the community, interviewed cast members, and made actual real friends as a result. What a weird and unexpected joy this has been. Thanks everyone who listened, voicemailed, emailed, tweeted, retweeted, commented, rated, reviewed, wrote fanfic, recorded music, or ever said a single nice thing about COTW over the last 7 years. It’s been awesome. Here’s an episode of us watching the Dawson’s Creek Finale for like the hundredth time.

Episode 308 – Happy Ending

Papa Emoiratus

Oh wow, my last Schitt’s Creek episode description. I don’t even know how to begin. You all know the jist of the episode: David gets married and then the whole gang separates off to live their new successful lives, having learned a myriad of lessons from their time spent in the Creek. In many ways, this show has matured greatly over the course of it’s six seasons. What started as a pretty basic fish-out-of-water story, became a heartfelt tribute to family and friendship. However in the most important ways this show has not matured at all, as the central plot point of the finale of this Emmy-winning sitcom masterpiece… is a hand job joke.

Sweaters and handplay, our theme song remained true ’til the very end.

Episode 307 – Start Spreading The News

I gotta be honest, I saw this picture and the first thing that came to mind was: I bet Dan Levy (and for that matter David Rose) smells great. Just the perfect fragrance for any situation. It’s not a funny caption but it’s honest, dammit.

Wow everyone, we have very nearly made it. A few more steps and we will have summitted the peak of Schitt Mountain. Our oxygen is getting low, we passed several long dead corpses on the way up, and we only have a few minutes to enjoy it before we have to descend or else risk joining them in the icy embrace of death… you know what this metaphor is getting confused so I think I’ll start over.

Wow everyone, we have very nearly made it. A few more strides and we have finished Schitt Marathon. 25.2 miles of Schitt are behind us and with only one to go our victory is nearly assured. We’ve pissed ourselves twice, and all that remains of our nipples is the bloodstain on the inside of our Umbro moisture wicking atheletic t-shirt…. Nope, I did it again. One more try.

Wow everyone, we have very nearly made it. One more episode and we will have watched the entirety of Schitt’s Creek and commentated upon it for your listening pleasure. Hopefully Creek of the Week is able to go out as strongly as the show which provides all its content, but considering that show has a team of talented writers, producers, and an incredibly charismatic cast, while this show is a couple of jagoffs yelling at each other over the top of said talented performances, it probably will not. Be that as it may we are all in this together. Please enjoy the pppeeenultimate episode of Schitt’s Creek with us. You probably already know what happens.

Episode 306 – The Pitch

Say goodnight, not goodbye, Moira. Soon we may part, but we will always have Spotify (at least as long as we keep paying for hosting).

So, Schitt’s Creek is finally getting around to wrapping Schitt up, which means we have to figure out what is in store for Johnny, Moira, David, Alexis, and the rest. This episode focuses on Johnny, Stevie, and Roland and their attempt to turn their little roadside motel into a massive corporate chain. Before the big bucks can roll in, they have to attend an actual New York board meeting, and I’m sure Roland won’t be any kind of aquatic swimming animal outside of his natural liquid habitat whatsoever. Also we get a peek into trouble with Patrick and David as David seems keen to leave the Creek, but Patrick may not feel the same. Two to go!

Episode 305 – The Bachelor Party

Thinking about picking up a couple of these for in-person recordings.

Hey there, kittens! Only a few creeks left for you to dip your toes into, but thankfully this one is a good one. It’s bachelor party time before David’s wedding, and Stevie is in charge of planning. The itenerary includes escape rooms and drinks, but the rest of the Rose family is a little distracted. Johnny is expecting an important call from a big investor, and Alexis is realizing she’s a big fish outgrowing her small pond, and Moira is just being fabulous and hilarious as always.

Episode 304 – Sunrise, Sunset

I’m not going to lie, I only picked this screenshot because I’m friggin’ starving, you got any wedding sample platters back there?

As the sun rises on a new baby podcast, springing forth fully formed from the heads of it’s hosts, so too must it eventually set, returning to those same fractured skulls to burrow deep into the cranial-goo where it will fester and mutate into deep regret. Regret over the thousands of hours of improvised commentary that could, at any moment, be dredged up by family, the feds, or the dreaded cancel culture and ruin said hosts lives forever! That is the situation we find ourselves in during these twilight hours of Creek of the Week, our skulls agape, that podcast, once a delicate fledgling, now an ancient and decrepit albatross cresting the horizon on a collision course with the wombs that birthed it, and the graves that will see it entombed forever.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, this week Moira gets an offer to return to her old soap and Alexis manages to help her even though she is going through some stuff. Johnny, meanwhile, is paying for David’s catering and David has expensive tastes. It’s a fun ep that really starts to set up the beginning of the end.

Episode 303 – Rebound

The box. You opened it. We came. Now you must come with us, taste our pleasures.

What a week we have in store for you my little Schittobites. After our usual beginning-of-show-BS we hop in and watch Alexis make some poor life decisions with an old man while Johnny attempts offer some fatherly warnings to her would-be suitor. Meanwhile Moira goes sans-Publicist and attempts to right the horrible faux pas that has landed her in trouble with the locals. Lastly David & Patrick take on a new hire at the store who is equal parts enthusiastic and unenthusiastic about the position spoiler alert: It’s Jocelyn.

Farewell suite, beautiful baby boy. You will be missed.

It’s another fine week for another fine creek. This one has some laughs and some tears as we bid farewell to sexvet Ted. He’s off to artificially inseminate turtles or something while Alexis has to stay behind and find her own path. Meanwhile the Rose’s face off against the Schitts to see who will get to stay in the swank Presidential suite at the new motel. Also, Patrick has some fun with a spray tan gun.

Episode 301 – Moira Rose

[Don’t forget to insert a funny caption here before you click “publish” If you’re reading this I forgot, or is this all just a bit? You’ll never know and I’ll never tell]

Cults are fun, this week most of the Schitts Creek women are almost indoctrinated into one. Meanwhile Moira and David get hammered on terrible wine, and Johnny bonds with Patrick. Your hosts discuss super important things like purchasing hard-to-find electronics, and removing twitter contacts. HOT CONTENT!

Episode 300 – The Wingman

Some screen grabs are just for MTSG, and that’s OK.

Wow folks, 300 episodes. I think we have about 7 more in us then it’s time to bounce. But don’t let the impending demise of your fifth favorite podcast distract from the hilarious romp we have for you this week. There are misunderstandings aplenty as the threesome Patrick and David think they are going to turns out to be an orgy. Also Bob needs to get laid, and Alexis has to make an important decision effecting her career and personal life. This is a good one. Happy 300!


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