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Episode 296 – The Incident

Patrick showing off his new Dune stillsuit PJs. TOPICAL CAPTION!

Ya ever pee the bed as an adult? Sound off in the comments, then tune in to see if your hosts have. One person we know has definitely peed the bed is David Rose, and that is the main story in this episode. Concurrently we have Alexis handling the burgeoning social media presence of her mother, then our two stories collide as Moira livestreams a conversation about David’s previous “incidents”. Also, Johnny and Stevie go to look at a new motel to purchase, with Roland in tow, but end up attending a funeral instead. Hijinks galore!

Episode 295 – Smoke Signals

I don’t have a good caption for this except to point out how exceptional that necklace/amulet thing is.

This week’s episode is an interesting one. Our extended pre-show banter recounts a harrowing, and often objectively hilarious tale, of the events of the previous week for one of your beloved hosts. That undersells it, but I’m trying to keep spoilers out of the episode description so you’ll just have to listen. Afterward we watch the season 6 premier of Schitt’s Creek, in which David & Patrick look for a wedding venue while Moira recovers from her breakdown.

Episode 294 – Life Is A Cabaret

Name a more iconic power trio.

The season 5 finale is here and they’re goin out singing. Much of this finale is taken up by musical numbers. They are fine. The rest of it is mainly dominated by stormclouds raining all over David’s parade as he tries to make a dramatic engagement announcement. Also, Alexis is dealing with the fallout of missing all the fun upcoming events while she is in the Galapagos, and Johnny is feeling particularly emotional to his two burgeoning spawn. Season finale’s are always a good time around here so join us, won’t you?

Episode 293 – The Hike

Jokes aside, it is a testament to the writing and performances on this show that such a touching scene can be created with a character wearing that sweater.

Well this week’s episode sure is a doozy. Important stuff goes down in this one, as well as some less-important stuff. First of all, Johnny starts to feel uncomfortable while doing some manual labor, and for a moment everyone thinks he might die. Spoiler alert: He doesn’t. Next Alexis realizes there might be more to her Galapagos “vacation” than she expects. Finally Patrick asks David along for a hike where he has something special planned, and everything goes wrong. Get your tissues out and get ready to have your tears jerked, because some emotional Schitt is going down.

Episode 292 – The Roast

Moira, thank you for your concern, but we are fine and we have a new episode ready right now.

Hey kiddos, Sorry for the brief hiatus, but we are back with another banger. This week’s episode of Schitt’s Creek doesn’t have a lot of drama but makes up for it in laughs, as it is, in this host’s humble opinion, one of the funnier episodes of the season. Johnny has to fill in for Moira at the roast of the town mayor, and it turns out he’s not very good at it. Naturally he enlists help of the townies to give him some tips. Patrick and Stevie have a dark secret they desperately want to keep from Moira, and Alexis learns that her beloved has been accepted to study in the Galapagos.

Episode 291 – Meet The Parents

This is also my family’s reaction when politics is brought up at the holidays.

This week’s Schitt’s Creek starts with the revelation that David is throwing the one and only surprise party of his life for his BF Patrick, and has secretly invited his lover’s parents to the soiree. This inadvertently puts Johnny in a, wait for it, awkward position, when he accidentally outs Patrick to his parents who were unaware of he and David’s relationship. Meanwhile, Moira and Alexis attend a soap opera convention and learn that serious bank can be made for feet pics.

Episode 290 – Roadkill

Ted’s “I’m about to have sex” face is not as sexy as we might have hoped.

This week is all about dead animals and sex in public spaces, my two favorite things. While headed out of town for a spa-retreat, Johnny and Moira accidentally plow over a cat. Then, for some reason, they hunt down the owners of the cat, and once again for an unknown purpose, sit around that person’s house all day until finally, for reasons nobody can guess, they give away their spa package to the family that is obviously taking advantage of them. Meanwhile David and Stevie are hawking foot creams at the local flea market, while Alexis watches the store, and Ted watched dat azzzzzz. Then they bone.

Episode 289 – The M.V.P.

Baseball, that’s our national sport.

As the Olympics come to a close, it is only fitting we say farewell with possibly the most athletic episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week the town’s two baseball teams are competing in the league finale. One wonders: How many teams started in this tournament? Where are all those players? Was it always going to come down to these two teams? SHUT UP! Stop asking questions and enjoy the show! It’s TELEVISION, for chrissake. Anyway, also Moira is directing a play and Stevie has the jitters.

Episode 288 – The Hospies

You’re gonna have a lot bit of laughsis when you… listen to… our show. Yikes.

A lot of stuff happens on this episode. Johnny and Stevie win an award right as Stevie is getting unceremoniously dumped by a bastard. Moira settles into the role of Director of Cabaret, and David makes fun of Patrick for being a pushover. But who are we kidding, none of that matters. This is the Little Bit Alexis episode. She’s a Lamborghini, she’s a Hollywood Star, and she’s the queen of Episode 288.

Episode 287 – A Whisper of Desire

I hate it when I find a really good screenshot and can’t think of a damn thing to caption it with. Feel free to tweet your own caption ideas to @talkindawson.

So we decided to take a break from our break to break to bring you just a little bit of content during this long hot summer. This week we have a fine episode in which Johnny finds himself possibly having a sexy and mature admirer. Surely there’s no way it was all an awkward misunderstanding. Not on this show! Also, David has a baby forced upon him while having an important business meeting, and Moira decides to back-seat direct the local playhouse’s presentation of Cabaret. Is that it? Of course not, this episode is also chock full of sexy talk about weather patterns in the west Texas desert, and stories of dirt-holes and train tracks.


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